10/29/2023 Midtown Church Sacramento + Online
SERMON SERIES:
My Dysfunctional Family: From Trauma to Transformation
“Resolving Conflict Respectfully”
Pastor Bob Balian
Conflict Management
Main Text: James 4:1-12 (NIV)
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?
James 4:1 (NIV)
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?
1.) The One Source of Conflict –- Is, Not Getting What I Want – James 4:2a (NIV)
You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.
2.) As Long as You Blame Others for Your Unhappiness, You Will Always Be Unhappy
James 4:2B-3 (NIV)
You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
James 4:4-6 (NIV)
You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud
but shows favor to the humble.”
3.) At some level, the root cause of every conflict with others is our own internal conflict with God – James 4:7-10 (NIV)
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
4.) The antidote to our selfish Greed, is to repent to God, and give something away to others
Counseling & Resources: https://midtownchurch.org/care/
Classes: Helping Communities Heal
- Building Deeper Connections (Monday, Nov. 13th)
- Grief & the Holidays (Monday, Dec. 4th)
- Wisdom, Creativity, & Authenticity (Monday Dec. 11th)
WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK MIDTOWN!
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